"I had to go see about a girl."
Sure, it was a line from Good Will Hunting. But it was appropriate as I was going to drive 5 hours down to Stillwater, Oklahoma to confess my undying love to a woman I had a crush on for half a decade.
I was going to Kansas State University at the time and a friend of mine was giving me a ride down to visit...Catherine. She was a Theta at OSU and from the first time we met in inner-city Dallas on a trip to build a roof on a building for kids, I was completely twitterpated.
And after years and years, I was finally going to tell her so.
I will remember this trip for the rest of my life. I'll remember our walk around Theta pond while I mustered up the nerve to tell her how I felt. I'll remember quoting the line from As Good As It Gets-- "You make me want to be a be
tter man"-- that, at least for the moment, took her breath away. I'll remember her wanting to give it a go.And, of course, I'll remember it not working out less than a month later. (What the heck was I thinking? She was graduating in a few months and I still had 2 years of college left! My only regret is that I didn't ask her out 4 years earlier!)
I'll remember it because it was a risk.
Risks lodge themselves into our soul because they are so visceral. That unmistakable feeling of fear and excitement that courses through our veins, causing trembling, sweaty palms and an uneasy stomach.
Just like women: It's hard to live with...and even harder to live without.
Yet I wonder how much of our lives are managed around avoiding risk?
When you think about it, you remember the risks you take and the risks you don't take, but you don't remember much else. Our lives are defined by risks taken and risks avoided.
Even though my risk with Catherine didn't go the way I would have hoped, I wouldn't change that memory for anything. It's shaped me. It gave me permission to love. It helped me realize that there's life after loved lost.
It made me less afraid to fail.
When I look at my life, almost everything that I cherish-- my amazing wife, my community, opportunities I have to serve the world-- have all come from risks. They've all required sacrifice. They've all been worth it.
And I can't help but think about what opportunities I've missed out on because I've failed to risk. What texture my life could have, what adventures I could have been a part of, if I would have risked a little more.
What have been some of your best risks? What risks might you be avoiding? What risks do you sense you're supposed to take?
