Danger is Good.

I read the most fabulous feature in Good Magazine a while ago.

They did a study on the evolution of playgrounds in the past 50 years. Turns out, that's all you can study because that's how long they've been around.

That's right: my DAD is older than the IDEA of playgrounds.

Most playgrounds today look something like this:

I think we can all agree that this playground completely sucks and is fun to play on for about...oh...5 minutes.

There's no risk playing on this thing unless you count dying from heat if you fall asleep inside it or the occasional static cling when you go down that infernal slide.

It's almost entirely safe, static and boring-- just how our soccer moms wish life was all the time.

And this was the point of the Good article, noting that these environments do not foster creativity nor a healthy preparedness for life after pastels.

But the article also pointed to a resurgence of ancient ideas of play being reintegrated into western culture. These new areas have hybrid names: Nature playgrounds, Loose Parts Playgrounds, Adventure Playgrounds, etc. But really they're just good 'ole fashioned dangerous places where entrepreneurs who care about kids let them do their thing.

They look like this:

Now, this picture is enough to make a soccer mom swallow her Doublemint gum.

These playgrounds do have supervision. But they also have completely modifiable environments and opportunities to get dirty, get hurt and the raw materials to create a whole lot of...whatever kids want to create.

Dovetail this with a conversation I had with a new friend of mine. He has had to work incredibly hard to get where he is in life and he was telling me about the tension as a father to provide a better life for his kids.

"I want them to be safe...but overcoming danger is what made me who I am today," he said.

"I love my life. I love who I am. But for some reason I would never let my kids have the same experiences I've had. It's almost like I think they can develop resilience without resistance. Or like they can become strong if everything comes easy."

He paused and then said: "I think I'm discovering that danger is good. But don't quote me on that."

Too late.

As leaders, what kind of environments do we create for others? Do we create static, safe, predictable environments or do we throw our people into the deep end with the right materials (or maybe the wrong ones?) and spend more time cheering them on as they create and less time turning them off as we micro-manage tasks that were too small for them anyway?

Risk is Beautiful


"I had to go see about a girl."

Sure, it was a line from Good Will Hunting. But it was appropriate as I was going to drive 5 hours down to Stillwater, Oklahoma to confess my undying love to a woman I had a crush on for half a decade.

I was going to Kansas State University at the time and a friend of mine was giving me a ride down to visit...Catherine. She was a Theta at OSU and from the first time we met in inner-city Dallas on a trip to build a roof on a building for kids, I was completely twitterpated.

And after years and years, I was finally going to tell her so.

I will remember this trip for the rest of my life. I'll remember our walk around Theta pond while I mustered up the nerve to tell her how I felt. I'll remember quoting the line from As Good As It Gets-- "You make me want to be a better man"-- that, at least for the moment, took her breath away. I'll remember her wanting to give it a go.

And, of course, I'll remember it not working out less than a month later. (What the heck was I thinking? She was graduating in a few months and I still had 2 years of college left! My only regret is that I didn't ask her out 4 years earlier!)

I'll remember it because it was a risk.

Risks lodge themselves into our soul because they are so visceral. That unmistakable feeling of fear and excitement that courses through our veins, causing trembling, sweaty palms and an uneasy stomach.

Just like women: It's hard to live with...and even harder to live without.

Yet I wonder how much of our lives are managed around avoiding risk?

When you think about it, you remember the risks you take and the risks you don't take, but you don't remember much else. Our lives are defined by risks taken and risks avoided.

Even though my risk with Catherine didn't go the way I would have hoped, I wouldn't change that memory for anything. It's shaped me. It gave me permission to love. It helped me realize that there's life after loved lost.

It made me less afraid to fail.

When I look at my life, almost everything that I cherish-- my amazing wife, my community, opportunities I have to serve the world-- have all come from risks. They've all required sacrifice. They've all been worth it.

And I can't help but think about what opportunities I've missed out on because I've failed to risk. What texture my life could have, what adventures I could have been a part of, if I would have risked a little more.

What have been some of your best risks? What risks might you be avoiding? What risks do you sense you're supposed to take?

People to Take Risks with and For.

Family


Friends


Enemies


Floor


Dorm


Teachers/Bosses


The Hurting


The Ignored


The Untapped (people with potential)

Types of Risk

Social Activity


Honesty


Serving


Encouragement


Generosity


Leadership


Hospitality


Celebrating


Mourning


Support


Romance

Pepperdine Risks, Fall 2008

-To find a good use for the extra money he has acquired

-To talk to his roommate about coming out

-To return a phone call to her next door neighbor/old friend that has been calling

-To talk to her acquaintance who is deciding about an abortion

-To contact her grandparents in some form (call or letter)

-To talk to someone she doesn't know at a party

-To have a DTR talk with her guy friend from back home

-To express his liberal political views to friends

-To have a conversation with his fiance/wife about where to spend the money they will receive

-To call his dad and thank him

-To talk to her older sister about why they are fighting/the move to California

-To talk to brother (who he hasn't talked to in 3 months)

-To talk to his friend from back home about his drug problems

-To talk to his younger brother about withdrawing

-To write a song for his girlfriend for their anniversary (and he should play it for us!)

-To find a good way to have a respectful and productive political conversation/conversation about beliefs

-To talk to coaches about Olympic connections